There is such a thing as "polite"

Thu, 22 May 2008 22:02:54 +1200

In my post rating the potential Mahalo Daily co-hosts, Veronica Belmont herself (presumably!) had this to say:

But on another note, geez… your comments are pretty jerky. These women are trying really hard to make a great show, cut them a little slack. It’s not the easiest thing in the world.

I couldn’t fit a reply nicely in a comment (as always, I am too verbose), and I figured that this was worth a separate post, since it applies to other things I write (and it’s not often that a tiny personal blog like this gets a comment from a celebrity - although if Sarah does win, then I guess it was four times today!). Before I get to reviewing my own comments (blogging’s highest form, I suppose), comments in general: I don’t feel that it is my place to cut them any slack. Calacanis asked for ratings with considered thoughts, and that’s what this was. I have no doubt that it’s a challenging task (if it wasn’t, then they shouldn’t bother), nor that they are all making their best attempt, and I didn’t say either of those things. When I teach, I give my students honest feedback about what they have done poorly, and what they have done well. If I sugar-coated my responses (or cut them any slack), then I would be doing them a disfavour, as well as anyone that uses their eventual qualifications (e.g. employers). It can be abrasive, but it also spurs development and improvement (and in general (but with exceptions) students rate my teaching highly, at least as far as I know). I expect this feedback from my students, also: either the comments are valid and I endeavour to make changes so that future students benefit from my enhanced skills, or they’re not valid and I don’t worry about them. I expect, give, and receive, this feedback in other work I do as well. In the “real world”, people often consider me blunt, abrasive, or rude. Some people get to know me, and then they realise that, yes, I am (well, not rude). But it’s never malicious, unconsidered, or untruthful, and reciprocation is always welcome. I have friends (and a wife of nearly five years), even given this personality trait. My assumption (could be wrong, of course) is that the comment mostly applies to my comment about Sarah (personally, I think the comments about CommandN and Veronica were the least fair, since I didn’t elaborate on either). My comments on Nadine, Leah, and Andrea’s episodes were nearly all positive, and the negative was something minor that could be worked on. My criticism of Michelle - the hair flick is constructive criticism (it should go), the laugh perhaps unfair (but it bothered me personally, and this was a personal response), and I think my feeling about the enthusiasm has the same source as comments from other people about “professionalism”. I didn’t say that it was fake (that would have been unfair), but that it came across that way. My guess (personal response, remember) is that she could be more natural and it would be a better show, or that she’s just suited better elsewhere. My criticism of Kristina echoes that of nearly everyone, including the official judges. Considering that I’d (probably) watch her in some other show, I can’t see this as “jerky”. So that leaves Sarah:

Jerk on Tony Andrew Meyer

There is such a thing as "polite"